Broken Heart + The Hope Of Glory
Did you know that Jesus is enough in you and in me? Did you know that the bible talks about us going through rough times being inevitable, however, the power and the hope of glory is IN us when we allow Christ to be our Lord and savior? He is our peace in the moments of difficulty! Look up Colossians 1:27
I don't know about your friend but I feel amazing when I think that the God of ALL creation is with-IN ME. What the heck in all its glory?! Right!? That means that no matter what anyone thinks about you. No matter what people decide about you and your pain. No matter how someone is judging you. God is with you and you will be able to withstand anything that comes your way. I don't know about your friend, but I feel like I'm being pressed on ALL SIDES. I feel like life in the past few months has been a doosey. I've been through so much emotional pain and the pressure of trying to do it on my own (because, yes, I forget that Christ is within me sometimes) has me doing some things that are toxic for me. But here's what I'm learning. Christ is inside of me and the minute I catch a glimpse of what that means for, I get a sense of overwhelming peace and joy in the midst of all this pain. I find hope that makes the deepest of sorrow into joy everlasting because I began to experience WHO'S I am and the sacrifice he has done for me. Biblical knowledge goes from head knowledge to irrevocable belief to our core when we go through hardship and we choose to still worship God through our trials! That's why Paul my bible BFF said to count it all as joy when we go through hardship! Oh Joy, Paul. Oh JOY!! (CAN YOU HEAR THE SARCASM IN MY VOICE?) But seriously, I think Paul is onto something. Joy, because hardship (if our hearts are grateful for it) does something to us that we can not do for ourselves in our comfort zones. God will always reveal himself to us as our savior but it's in moments of deep water that I myself have my attention more on Jesus and I understand that I can't earn salvation, I get to accept it as the richest, the most divine gift I could ever accept! We couldn't earn salvation but Christ gives himself to us anyway. What a beautiful God
Our lives have been a blessing from the moment our little hearts started beating in our mother's womb. God has a plan for you and I and his specialty is transformation! You know I must share something with you that you might or might not know about me. In the past few years, I've been healing from bulimia and something I've found interesting is this: The minute I try too hard in life and I am setting an expectation that only belongs to God for myself, I go right back into a fixed mindset where I believe I must be "perfect" in order to be worthy of love and connection and this fixed mindset throws me back to bad habits of self-harm. Let's be real, the only thing that is perfect is Jesus and this illusion of perfection is an idol we must pray into oblivion and I will not bow down to this or let anyone in my life corner me into bowing down to worshiping perfection in order to worship God! I will stand for freedom for God set me free to be free indeed! Free of the shame and fear of being my unpolished, not-perfect, a broken vessel in which HIS power is seen best through the broken pieces! I am a little girl saved by grace, grateful for a savior who sees all of me and is not ashamed to be seen with me even through all of what I have or am struggling with!
I am healing and in the throws of it all, God is revealing to me so much of my pain and my lack of progress comes from the stigma of shame that this world imposes on those who struggle with mental illness, however, I have a response-ability to accept that as truth for myself or not. I want to believe what God says about me, not what the world says. The Bible tells us that he has NOT given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love and a sound mind! (2 Timothy 1:7)" I believe in some way we ALL struggle with mental illness. Call me crazy but the bible says "not one is good. (Romans 3: 10)" NOT one! We all have issues and only God can know the depths of anyones struggles and pain. But that's why he is an amazing savior because he isn't shaming anyone into perfection in order to love us. He loved us before we loved him!
So if you are in the same boat of struggling with something that brings those feelings of shame like an eating disorder or anything that makes you feel "different" I gently offer to you this. Jesus died so you won't be ashamed of anything; He says that "by his wounds, we are healed! (Isaiah 53:5) And the stigma is only a stigma when the ones who are struggling decide it is. I am going to keep healing no matter what it requires of me. I am willing to go through the pain with Christ in order to be whole and healthy, rather than trying to hide my issues for people to like or love a fake me. If they don't enjoy all of me that is their choice and I honor that. I am learning that the love of Jesus is enough for me. I know Jesus and his love is willing to bend low to our point of need. He is gentle and kind and will always encourage you and me to a deeper relationship with him! He is enough for you and me today. And he will always be!
I love you so much, friend. Thank you so much for your time! I know it's precious! I pray and hope that you'd leave her encouraged to live your life unashamed and free to be all of you!
Photography by: Doug Reynolds
