Enjoying The Portola Hotel & Spa At Monterey Bay + 15 Lessons From 15 Years Of Marriage
C/O : Thank you to the Portola Hotel And Spa For Letting Us Stay At Your Property For A Complimentary Night!
There are some moments in life that are just “pinch-me” worthy. And one of them for us, has been getting a room key to the presidential suite at the Portola Hotel & Spa last week in Monterey, California. Let me give you some context so we can both be in awe of God and his mercy!
Welcome to our Monterey, California travel blog! Whether you're a nature lover, history buff, or seafood enthusiast, Monterey offers a captivating blend of attractions. Discover the breathtaking coastal vistas at Point Lobos State Natural Reserve, explore the fascinating Monterey Bay Aquarium, or immerse yourself in history at the iconic Cannery Row. Get ready for an unforgettable journey along the scenic 17-Mile Drive or indulge in fresh seafood delicacies at the renowned Fisherman's Wharf. Join us as we unveil the hidden gems and must-see destinations in Monterey, California, and make your visit an extraordinary one!
Lesson #1
Monterey was a place Doug and I visited when our marriage wasn’t doing very well (one of many challenging seasons in 15 years) and we decided to get help from a weekend couple’s retreat about eight years ago! So it is a super special place in our hearts! I am so happy we took the time to come back to celebrate our wins! The first lesson I want to share that I have learned from being married for fifteen years is; Ask for help when you need it. All of us that are in a marriage often feel like it’s only OUR marriage that has serious problems. Doug and I learned WE ALL HAVE ISSUES. And we don’t know what we haven’t learned, so it’s okay to be students of relationships together! We all need help. There is no shame in going o therapy or to a retreat to learn to be better alone and as a couple.
So when we had our anniversary coming, we KNEW we must come back to celebrate by staying at one of our favorite hotels! The Portola Hotel & Spa! And here’s why I think you should consider them if you’re in the mood to visit, Monterey California!
Portola Hotel and Spa: A Luxurious Oasis
Nestled amidst the breathtaking coastline of Monterey Bay, the Portola Hotel and Spa stands as a captivating retreat that seamlessly blends elegance with modern comfort. As you step foot into this luxurious haven, you are immediately enveloped in a world of serenity and indulgence. From the beautifully appointed guest rooms to the award-winning dining options, every aspect of the Portola Hotel and Spa exudes sophistication and impeccable attention to detail. The spa offers an array of rejuvenating treatments and therapies, ensuring a blissful escape from the outside world. Whether you choose to unwind by the outdoor fireplace, take a dip in the heated pool, or explore the endless attractions just steps away, the Portola Hotel and Spa provides an unforgettable experience for every guest.
Staying in a hotel in Monterey, California is a truly enchanting experience. With its breathtaking coastal views and idyllic charm, Monterey captivates visitors from all walks of life. As you settle into your comfortable hotel room, the soothing sound of crashing waves fills the air, reminding you of the ocean's proximity. The impeccable hospitality and attention to detail create a sense of warmth and hospitality that makes you feel right at home. Whether you're savoring a delicious dinner at Stokes Adobe (get the pesto pasta!) or exploring the historic Cannery Row, every moment spent in Monterey is filled with a sense of wonder and adventure. As the sun sets over the Pacific, painting the sky with vibrant hues, you realize that staying in a hotel like the Portola Hotel & Spa in Monterey is not just about finding a place to sleep; it's about immersing yourself in the beauty and tranquility of this coastal paradise.
LESSON #2
Celebrate the SMALL AND BIG wins of your lives. And I mean really make it seem like their wins are your wins!! Life is already so hard; learn to become each others cheer section and not the discouragement and speaking unkindly section. It’s a huge deal when Doug celebrates me and I know it means so much to my husband when I celebrate what he is excited about. And of course, celebrate what you’ve accomplished together in big ways. That just means it has to be full of intention, no matter “what” you do your partner will FEEL your intention!
Lesson #3
Look for the good aspects of your spouse and be grateful verbally about them to THEM in cards, notes, letters, and your daily words. Our marriage transformed DRASTICALLY when Doug and I decided to lift each other up with our words. I came from a household where I saw women belittle men and speak harshly toward them. I didn’t want to continue this and I prayed HARD that God would hold my tongue when I didn’t have something nice to say. It took a WHILE to re-direct my thoughts and words about my husband but by God’s Holy Spirit, I was able to change the way I treated him with my words. Now we have a caring, respectful, and loving relationship because of the words we choose to say to one another!
Just in the same way, I know how to spot the good in my husband; below is all the good stuff from staying at the Portola from their website so you can see if it’s a fit for you!
Escape to Paradise at Portola Hotel and Spa in Monterey, California!
Are you dreaming of a coastal getaway where luxury meets tranquility? Look no further than the Portola Hotel and Spa, nestled in the heart of breathtaking Monterey, California. With stunning ocean views, world-class amenities, and a commitment to superior service, the Portola Hotel and Spa is the ultimate destination for your next vacation or business trip.
Serenity at the Spa
Rejuvenate mind, body, and spirit at the full-service spa, offering a range of holistic treatments and therapies. Unwind with a world-class massage, feel the healing power of a customized facial, or find balance through their exclusive wellness experiences. Their team of skilled therapists is dedicated to helping you achieve ultimate relaxation and revitalization.
Unforgettable Accommodations
Experience unparalleled comfort in their beautifully appointed guest rooms and suites, each meticulously designed to provide an oasis of relaxation. Fall in love with our plush bedding, modern furnishings, and breathtaking views of the Monterey Bay. Whether you choose a cozy room or a spacious suite, you'll discover a retreat tailored to your every need.
Unmatched Convenience
Located near renowned attractions such as Cannery Row and the Monterey Bay Aquarium, the Portola Hotel and Spa places you at the center of everything that Monterey has to offer. Explore the quaint shops and art galleries of downtown Monterey, take a scenic drive along the iconic 17-Mile Drive, or marvel at the astounding beauty of the Big Sur coast nearby. Your adventure awaits just steps from their front door.
Source: PortolaHotel.com
For some of our personal recommendations of what to do and wear in Monterey; Read our must-go-to places blog post!
Lesson #4
Make sure you kiss, hug, and touch. OFTEN.
Lesson #5
Do new things together! I love traveling with Doug to new and old places because it makes us get outside of our comfort zones and we can work more as a team! We went to Paris and in this post we give you a breakdown of how to prepare for a trip there, but only because we traveled there FIRST and had our ups and downs from the trip. And from our failures, we were able to serve your trip with better tips! Nothing in this life is all GOOD AND EASY. Each journey has a challenge and overcoming the challenge of traveling to a new place as a couple will give you grit for other parts of your marriage!
We took a short drive to Carmel to try the BEST BEIGNETS EVER at DUTCH DOOR Donuts! Listen; When you beignets together, you stay together! Bwwwaaaahhahahahaha!
Lesson#6
Enjoy the journey! In life and in a marriage there will be many unexpected twists and turns, sometimes you’ve turned so upside down and sometimes you might find yourself in a hard place that you never imagined! There in the cold and dark places, God will guide you and give you light! If you can make peace with the fact that your marriage will always have some sort of challenge and that you’re going to be tested, you’ll be more apt to withstand the journey of becoming a better version of yourself THROUGH your challenging times! In the delight of the journey we find peace and freedom from trying desperately to JUST GET THERE and we engage different parts of ourselves that bring patience, understanding, and love through it all!
On this trip, we had to bring our daughter because she got sick and couldn’t stay where she was going to stay the night and we had to ROLL WITH IT. See, life just likes to be interesting right? Insert crying emoji and laughing emoji!
Lesson #7
Don’t withdraw love from your spouse when you’re upset. Make sure you find time to honor your feelings and bring them to GOD WHERE HE CAN HEAL AND DIRECT YOU. Then you can forgive and continue to LOVE your spouse, ESPECIALLY through hard discussions, fights, and disagreements. Take your time to have a breather and take care of your heart and yourself, FIRST but then come back to make sure your partner knows you love them and don’t give them the silent treatment or withdraw from them. That’s the saddest thing to do because you close yourself and them off from love and character growth. Fight the urge to be mean and withdraw physically and emotionally like the plague!
Lesson #8
Trust God is doing something in YOU BOTH! I believe that marriage is a way that the Lord refines us to be better humans and more like his son Jesus. Without challenge, nothing grows in value. Pearls become pearls through a fascinating process. It all begins when an irritant, like a grain of sand or a parasite (can we think of our husbands here when we’re super annoyed hahaha), enters the soft body. In response to this intrusion, the mollusk secretes a substance called nacre, also known as mother-of-pearl, to cover the irritant. Layer upon layer of nacre is gradually deposited, creating a smooth and iridescent gemstone known as a pearl. This process takes years to complete The result is a glorious creation of nature with its unique luster and enchanting beauty. Listen you are becoming a beautiful pearl through all the IRRITANTS your spouse is bringing you. So rather than be mad at them. Go thank them right now that God is using them in your life to build a better YOU!
ONE OF THE BEST PARTS OF THE PORTOLA! The gorgeous view and balconies that provided an outdoor experience we BOTH enjoyed so much! Also enjoyed the dinning room that the Presidential Suite comes with!
On this special day, as the sun is bright and casts a glorious light on the Monterey Coast, we gather together to celebrate an extraordinary milestone — our fifteen wedding anniversary. The air is thick with anticipation and love, as laughter and joy emanate from every corner. This anniversary is marked by the crystal symbolizing the 15 years of growth, resilience, and passion we have shared. The room is adorned with bright light, casting a luminous ambiance that reflects the brightness of our bond. We raise our praises to our God who has carried us through every hill and valley and has given his son Jesus for the resurrection of our lives. Thus giving our marriage hope in hard times. We make space to remember the countless cherished memories and promise to continue creating golden moments together. As the day unfolds, we lose ourselves in going out on the town and celebrating with laughter and dip & dots! Basking in the joy of this milestone and reveling in the knowledge that our love story continues to blossom, with each passing year stronger and more vibrant than ever before.
Lesson #9
Pray for your spouse like your marriage depends on it. Pray for them out loud and pray for them on your own. Better yet; pray for them WITH GOD’S WORD.
Mejuri Croissant Dome Ring / Coil Stacker Ring
Lesson #10
LEARN TO BECOME A WHOLE PERSON. This took me FOREVER. I was an anxiously attached and co-dependent wife for the better half of our marriage. I had a lot of childhood trauma that marked my soul and in turn, gave me some pretty nasty coping skills in relationships and life. Through prayer, God’s word, journaling, and going to therapy for almost a decade now, my mind, soul, and spirit have healed from so much. And I’ve learned the benefit of becoming a whole person not needing my worth and validation coming from outside of me. That is why I wrote my second book, The Butterfly Key, for girls ages 11-18 (and any other women who still need to heal and mature in their soul) so they can learn to be internally strong before they even think of having a romantic relationship! My hope was to write a bible study that could help girls learn to become their own best friend and Jesus’ best friend before being in a relationship with another person. I think this would change EVERYTHING!
Lesson #11
Learn who YOU ARE. And do things by yourself that make you feel like an individual from your spouse. It is so important that you give time to develop a loving relationship with yourself and that you discover what you like to do. Just YOU. This has been one of my favorite things about healing. I’ve allowed my older self to access the little kid in me and do things for the delight of it without judgment of “Who are you to try ballet lessons at 39?” Discover who you are independently of anyone! And if your inner critic comes at you, tell them you are a child of God. God made you special and you have a uniqueness that only YOU HAVE. So learn what makes you come alive. It’s never too late to be in child-like wonder of how God made you!
TRAVEL OUTFIT IDEA
Lesson #12
Don’t take things personally in your marriage. Listen. This is half the battle. We often things are ALL ABOUT US. Most of the time it’s not about us. If we can learn to give space to our partners by deciding that their experience of today or life is just theirs. You’re going to breathe easier and not make your spouse’s emotional journey your own. I know this is harder said than done. So each time your spouse is grumpy ask God to help you stay in your zone and to not take things personally so that you can remain safe and fresh. Definitely be of support to your teammate but don’t take on their emotions. We’ve already got our own to manage and God knows that’s already a hard thing on its own!
Lesson #13
Learn and understand that your partner isn’t here to MAKE YOU HAPPY. Happy is not the end goal of life or marriage. Happy is as elusive as perfection. We chase it fruitlessly. Allow your mind to understand that there are parts of you that only JESUS CAN FILL! Your husband or wife should not be on a pedestal for your emotional wellbeing. If they are having a bad day, you can’t rely on them to make your emotional wellbeing okay! But Jesus is available to you 24/7! And he cares about what you’re feeling even if you’re not “happy”. Jesus is not scared of your hard feelings. He understands how you feel because he felt all that you experience. So consider detaching from the goal of being happy and placing that responsibility in your spouses hands. I believe that alone will help your relationship so much.
Lesson #14
Allow God to heal you. I’ve allowed God to heal me in so many ways and in this specific way, he has shown me that my worth and value lie in HIM and him alone. And that I am worthy of love just because Jesus loved me FIRST. When I recognize that I am already loved I don’t NEED my husband’s validation the way I did before. It is so nice to hear my husband say nice things about me. But now it comes in an overflow of what is already in me! Jesus life, hope, and love are overflowing my cup and if Doug happens to love on me, that is just the cherry on top!
Lesson #15
Become a great listener. There should be a course in school on how to be a good listener because no one teaches this incredibly wonderful skill! I’ve had to learn through many many many therapy sessions with Doug and no we are STILL not great at it. But we both try! And we both are becoming better listeners to each other by practicing each time we have a HEART-TO-HEART conversation. It is one of the best things you’ll ever spend time on. It helps EVERY relationship in your life. But it magnifies the intimacy of your marriage and helps you to see your partner more deeply.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read all the lessons I’ve learned in my marriage. I truly pray that you find so much value in these and that your own relationships flourish!
Back to our Monterey blog:
The last reason you should stay at the Portola Hotel and Spa! It is within walking distance to so MANY attractions. And if you’re a matcha latte or boutique coffee enthusiast you’ll love walking a few blocks to Captain + Stoker! It is such a great little shop! Be ready to stand in a very long line.
SIP SLOWLY!
If you’re not wanting the longer walk. A Starbucks awaits you ACROSS THE STREET from the hotel! So you’re covered either way!
No matter whether you stay at the Portola or not, I pray that you consider traveling even if your stay looks different it’s OKAY! Do what works for you at this time with your current budget. But make it a point to save up for traveling! It really is life-changing!
Beloved friend! Wow we made it to the end of this travel and love blog! How are you? That was a long post! I hope you gained value from it and thank you so much for visiting us today! It really means so much to me that you trust my voice! I love you to pieces and until next time! If you loved this, please share it with a friend who loves to travel and keep their marriage strong!
