4 Lessons To Help Your Marriage + Other Important Relationships

Photography by: Bruno

I believe that we all want to enjoy better relationships, we were created with the need to be in relationship and sometimes our past heartache keeps us from truly giving our hearts. I’d love to offer you treasure nuggets that have transformed the way I do relationship in a way that feels so freeing and wonderful! I believe it’s all about taking charge of the only thing we have control over; our-selfs and our minds! I’d love to offer these treasured lessons to you in hopes that they too would set you free!

Four lessons I’ve learned in my journey to trusting God with my heart. I pray they help you make your relationships stronger and deeper!

LESSON 1:

It is always better to divorce my expectation of Doug instead of Doug. I have divorced with the idea that Doug can make me “feel” a certain way. I have learned that only I can meet certain needs. I am learning that the relationship I truly need to prioritize is the one with myself. I used to feel resentful if Doug didn’t perform a certain way to bandaid over my insecurities and self-doubt. It’s been more healing to own up to my fears and insecurity and pray through those with God because there are places in my soul where only he has the ability to heal and restore! When I pray that God would fill me to the brim with his love and acceptance, I feel different and don’t require outside help to make me feel seen + heard + loved. Anything that comes my way from anyone including my husband, is a beautiful overflow and I accept it with so much joy! I can be honest with my husband about my needs and how I receive love from him so he can know me better coming from a place of curiosity and deepening the relationship rather than a naggy bride!

LESSON 2:

I have learned that Doug can’t read my mind. haha I don’t understand why! My mind is amazing he should know what I’m thinking right?! LOL The older I grow the more I can see the power of effective communication. No one can know my intentions and to be honest a lot of us are operating based on our own assumptions, so the more clear we are with one another about how we are feeling and what we like and don’t like the better a relationship can grow!

LESSON 3:

I am learning that Doug and I are married for the sake of being refined to be the best versions of who God called us to be not to be “happy”. So when difficulty comes it is easier to see it as a learning opportunity and no matter what if we push through the difficulty God can turn it around for our good and gift us with deeper intimacy in our relationship. Whenever we go through a storm together and come out the other side holding God’s hand and each-other’s we love + trust even deeper.

LESSON 4:

I am learning that love comes at a bit of cost. I have to be okay with being disappointed because I will too disappoint Doug. Grace is our home motto right now. Our intention is to receive and accept the Grace Jesus provides our hearts, then give it to ourselves and to one-another. #Grace for each-other has save our marriage so many times. However, giving strong consequences for toxic behavior and establishing healthy strong boundaries has also been a life saver! In my opinion there is a way to love that isn’t compromising your own need, safety and honor. I have learned that we both exhibit toxic behavior for we are both human. Again, Grace is our motto here.

I love you friend! May this post inspire your closest most beloved relationships. NO relationship is perfect. No marriage, friendship, sibling, co-worker. Let us all learn to receive God’s unconditional love so than we can give it to ourselves and each-other! Leave me a comment with one of your most recent love lessons, have you any insight that might help us?